Innocence
by Calidus
Summary: YAOI. Set in the Xenosaga universe. Jr./Albedo. When Albedo calls, will Jr. answer? What will he find out about himself and Albedo? Work in progress.
1. Innocence I

Fandom: Xenosaga (based on Episode I: Der Wille Zur Macht)

Title: Innocence I

Author: Calidus

Pairing: Jr./Albedo

Rating: R overall (PG13 for this part)

Warnings: Underage (physically, if not mentally)

Spoilers: If you haven't played through Xenosaga, read with caution.

Author's Notes: The first part of what will be the 'clean' version of my Xenosaga fic, especially for my beloved, homophobic fanfiction.net, and posted on my slash/yaoi account, so my gen/het readers won't think I've gone off the deep end. Speaking of which:

**THIS IS SLASH, YAOI, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. THAT MEANS THIS FIC IS ABOUT A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MALES. IN THIS PARTICULAR STORY, ONE OF THESE MALES IS PHYSICALLY UNDERAGE. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.******

Rubedo.

No! I won't go! I –

Rubedo. You owe me. You betrayed us.

Please, I can't –

Begging? Rubedo, what has become of your pride? How pathetic! When have I ever shown mercy?

I hate you!

Come to me. You know where I'll be waiting. We can end it all.

Why are you so eager for an end? Hasn't the path served you well?

Finally, you speak like your true age, Rubedo. You've been trying to hide yourself in that child's body, haven't you? Trying to be innocent! How absurd!

I would leave this body, if I could.

Would you really? I doubt it, but we shall see.

*************************

            "He never did answer my question," Jr. whispered to himself in frustration as he pulled on his shirt. Ever since Proto Merkabah, Albedo had become a strong presence in his mind, especially as he slept. He knew that Gaignun had noticed a difference in him, but perhaps he was afraid to ask. Jr. certainly wasn't going to let anyone think he was going mad, or that he was a risk – even though, deep down, he couldn't help thinking so, himself.

            He also knew that it was becoming increasingly difficult, day by day, to resist Albedo's call. He almost hated the part of him that wanted to submit to Albedo as much as he hated Albedo himself. Lately, not even being with MOMO could calm the urge. 

            But it was on this morning that he knew – knew that he could only go so long before he gave in, and that such a time was not long in coming. He briefly considered having Gaignun lock him up, but that would only delay the inevitable – and likely cost the lives of anyone who stood in his way when he was too mad with the call to think rationally.

            He was lying on the couch in his room, his head back and his eyes closed, when the buzzer at the door rang. He sighed and walked to the door, pressing the button to open it.

            On the other side was MOMO, her golden eyes shining with joy. That joy shined from his eyes once, many years ago, and even now occasionally, when he got a new gun to play with. She smiled at him and, despite himself, he couldn't help but smile back.

            "Hey, Jr.! Want to come to the beach with me? Ziggy says he'll play!"

            This was it. If he didn't go with her, he knew where he would end up. Yet, the thought of going with her seemed even less appealing. The knowledge that this feeling came from Albedo, and not from himself, did not make it any less real.

            "I'm sorry, MOMO. I'd like to go, but I've got business to attend to." Even as he said it, he did not feel as if it were his lips moving over the words. "Have fun with Ziggy. It must have taken a lot of effort to get him to agree to go out there." There, that was better. It felt more real, now.

            She looked so very hurt. He hated that he had been the one to cause disappointment to pass over her face – but not as much as he hated the itch, the need to go. "Okay," MOMO said. "I guess I'll see you later, then. Don't work too hard." She walked away, looking back balefully just once before wandering out of sight.

            Jr. stood with his back to the closed door for a few moments, breathing deeply of the recycled air onboard the Durandal. Then he went into his closet and dug around until he found his suitcase – it had been a long time since he had used it – and he was halfway through packing it before he realized how obvious he would look walking toward the dock carrying it. He threw it across the room in frustration, his clothes and favorite guns flying out.

            Jr. walked out the door and did not look back.

*************************

            "Captain Matthews, I have a proposition for you."

            The captain of the Elsa nearly fell out of his seat in surprise at seeing the Little Master turn up on his doorstep so unexpectedly. "Of course, Little Master," he said. "What can we do for you?"

            "If you can get me out of the Durandal without anyone knowing I am onboard and take me where I need to go, I will see to it that all your debts are cleared." It was partly a lie, he knew; he had no plans for how he would deal with Matthews' debt, but if he ever could in the future, he would do so.

            The captain's eyes widened. "Little Master, I'm not sure if you realize how much debt I'm in, even after finally being paid for all the running around I was doing for Ms. Vector –"

            "I don't care. Take it up with Gaignun. We'll work something out. He can take it out of my allowance." Allowance. Gaignun always teased him with that term.

            "Captain, we can't refuse him," he heard the pilot whisper. "Think of what he's offering –"

            "I know, I know," the captain said. He turned to Jr. "I've got a bad feeling about this, but I'll do it." Jr. nodded. "All right, slackers! Time to pick up the pace! We've got to get ready to leave at – hey, when are we leaving?"

            "Now," Jr. said. 

            The captain frowned. "If you wish, sir. One of our crewmembers is in the Foundation, but I suppose we can do without him for a quick voyage."

            "We'll put the first layer of shields up before we take off. They're supposed to scan us for our occupant's signatures when we leave, but we can tell them we're not fully operational yet, and that we need the shield to hold together certain areas of the ship safely until we reach the dock colony for special repairs," the navigator said.

            "Good thinking," Jr. replied. It was nice to know the captain wasn't the brains of the crew. "I'll go wait in the passenger's cabin. Inform me when we are a safe distance from the Durandal and I'll tell you where to go."

*************************

            Jr. sat on the couch in the furthest passenger's area. He found that he was more relaxed than he had been in weeks, or even years, now that he knew he was at least doing something; something to turn the gears of his destiny, wherever it may lead him. He had been idle for so long, and even though he was frightened – he had always been the fearful one, and would admit to hating his own fear more than he had ever hated anyone or anything, including Albedo – he was sure that this was the only thing to do, and that once he did it, things would be as they should.

            He found himself yawning, and the corners of his eyes burned every time he blinked. Naturally, having Albedo invade his dreams had made him wary of sleep as of late. Despite this, he couldn't help curling up on the long couch and closing his eyes, at least for a minute.

            Minutes turned into over an hour, and when the captain and his navigator went down to fetch him, they found him sound asleep.

            "Think we should let him rest, captain?" Hammer asked.

            "We can't. He hasn't told us where the hell to go yet." Matthews replied. He grabbed Little Master's shoulder and shook him. 

Jr. awoke the moment the captain's hand touched him. He blinked groggily and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "Are we clear?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

            "Yup," Hammer replied. 

             Captain Matthews glared back at him. "He was asking me, numbskull! Yeah, we're out of range of the Durandal's sensors now. Where to?"

             "The planet Casses, in the Dolus system," Jr. said.

             "Casses?" the navigator cried. "Why would anyone want to go there? It's one of the most deserted places in the galaxy! It isn't populated at all. Not even pirate ships go around there." 

That just made it all the more obvious why Albedo would be there. He relished nothingness. "It doesn't matter. That's where we're going. End of discussion."

            "Don't see why not," Matthews said. "It doesn't sound too dangerous."

            "Captain, are you sure we shouldn't inform Master Gaignun?" Hammer asked.

            "I told you, I don't want anyone to know I'm gone!" Jr. growled in frustration.

            "I just don't think it's right for us to be helping a little kid run away from home. Especially when it's our boss' kid," Hammer added.

            "I'm not a kid!" Jr. shouted, stalking over to Hammer. "I'm just as capable of making my own decisions as anyone else on this ship."

            He waved his arms in surrender. "Okay, okay, sorry, Little Master. I didn't mean to offend you. I'll go set the course."

            Jr. sighed. "Tell me when we're there. It should only take about twelve hours in hyperspace."

            "Yes, sir, Little Master," Matthews said. He left, and Jr. was alone with his thoughts again.

*************************

            "Now entering high orbit around the planet Casses," Tony said.

            "I'm telling you, there's nothing here," Hammer said. "I have no idea why Little Master would want to come out here."

            "Tony, go get Little Master. Tell him we've reached our destination." Tony left, and the captain sat back in his chair. "I don't know either, but money is money, so shut your trap."

            "You said yourself that you had a bad feeling about this," Hammer grumbled. He pressed several buttons on the control panel in front of him. "Scanning the area for vessels – not like it's necessary out here, but it is protocol." After a few more moments, he said "I figured as much – completely deserted. What a weird mission."

            The door to the bridge opened, and Tony and Jr. stepped in. "Thank you, captain," Jr. said. His stomach was fluttering from nervousness, but he knew that he couldn't go back if he wanted to, now. "Have you already made the usual scans?"

            "Yes, sir," Hammer said. "Nothing, just like I told you."

            Jr. bit his lip. Surely he couldn't have been wrong? "Scan more specifically for smaller vessels. Is this thing equipped with a cloak scanner?" he asked.

            "No, sir, but I'll try our best scan. Could take a while, but…"

            Jr. didn't hear the rest of what was said. It felt like a freezing liquid was working its way up his spine and he shuddered. When he let out his breath, it condensed in the air. He was making his presence known. "Never mind," he said hoarsely. "He's here."

            The crew turned to him in astonishment. "Who's he?" Matthews asked.

            "Captain!" Hammer said. "I've got a visual on something heading towards us. It looks like a huge A.G.W.S.!"

            "Simeon," Jr. whispered.

            "Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Matthews demanded.

            "Keep in orbit around the planet," Jr. instructed as he shivered. He was getting colder by the minute. It was unnecessarily dramatic.

            "If you say so," Hammer replied warily. "I really don't like this."

            The giant armored suit kept coming closer. Within a few minutes, it was orbiting right next to the Elsa.

            Jr. was close to passing out from the cold. His teeth were chattering violently. Captain Matthews finally noticed. "Hey, Little Master, what's wrong?" he asked.

            "Sir, that thing is docking with us!" the helmsman cried.

            "What?" Matthews said. "How?"

            "It's hooking itself up to the cargo bay. I think whatever's in there is trying to get in!"

            "Damnit, don't let it!"

            "Yes, let it," Jr. rasped. "I need to go to the cargo bay." He slowly moved his numbing limbs to the door of the bridge and walked out.

            "What the hell?" Matthews said. "What does he think he's doing?"

            "It's overriding all our password protocols!" said Hammer. "I can't stop it!"

*************************

            Come to me, Rubedo.

            "I'm…coming," he whispered. "Keep your pants on."

            Now that wouldn't be any fun, would it?

             The voice in his head chuckled, but Jr. couldn't understand why. He was so cold he couldn't even remember what he had said. He could see a tunnel leading out of the cargo hatch, though, and that became his single goal.

            As soon as he stumbled into the tunnel, he heard the low buzzing of the closing door behind him. He looked back, but was forced to the ground by the tunnel closing up and retracting. Jr. realized that the tunnel was being pulled into Simeon with him still inside it, but couldn't bring himself to care. It did, after all, save him the trouble of walking. He collapsed onto the cold, metallic floor as he was dragged along and, still chilled to the bone, passed out.

*************************

            "Captain, it's leaving!" Hammer said. Then his eyes widened in shock. "Sir, I don't detect Little Master on board. I think he's inside that thing!"

            Just as he said it, the armored suit activated its thrusters and began to speed away. "Catch it, you idiots!" Matthews growled.

            "We can't, it's moving too fast! It's about to go into hyperspace!"

            "Damn it!" Matthews said, pounding his fist on the console in front of him as the giant suit transitioned to hyperspace. "We'll never catch it now! That damn thing sure is fast!"

            "Sir, it uploaded something into our database," Hammer said. His fingers raced across the console. "It has a tag."

            He paused. "It says: For Gaignun."

            Matthews smacked his forehead with his hand. "Damn, Master Gaignun. He's going to kill us for this."

            "Us?" Hammer cried. "This wasn't my idea! I told you we shouldn't do it!"

            "Oh, shut your trap." Matthews grumbled, kicking him in the back of the head.

To Be Continued…


	2. Innocence II

Fandom: Xenosaga (based on Episode I: Der Wille Zur Macht)

Title: Innocence II

Author: Calidus

Pairing: Jr./Albedo

Rating: R overall

Warnings: Underage (physically, if not mentally), violence

Spoilers: If you haven't played through Xenosaga, read with caution.

Author's Notes: Wasn't terribly happy with the last chapter…if anyone wants to beta read this fic, I would be appreciative. Nothing slashy happening yet, but there will be some in the next chapter.

**THIS IS SLASH, YAOI, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. THAT MEANS THIS FIC IS ABOUT A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MALES. IN THIS PARTICULAR STORY, ONE OF THESE MALES IS PHYSICALLY UNDERAGE. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.******

            The Elsa flew – or, rather, slunk – back in the direction of the Kukai Foundation. "We are in serious trouble, guys," Tony said. "We should be at the Kukai Foundation in about four hours, but I'm not sure that we want to go back."

            "Yeah, no kidding," Matthews replied.

            "Um, guys?" Hammer asked, looking up from his terminal. "I think I know what that big robot armor thingy was, and it's not good." He turned back to his control panel, "I'm accessing it now."

            "Well, let's hear it. Things can't get any worse," Matthews grumbled, sitting back in his seat. He knew that as the ship's captain, he'd be held responsible for letting one of his passengers – an unescorted kid, no less – off the ship and into some weird, probably sinister, contraption.

            "When we were docked at the Song of Nephilim, the ship's scanners picked up something that matches it exactly," said Hammer. He pressed a button and brought the previous scan records from the Song of Nephilim up on the main screen, displaying a wireframe of the vessel that had so recently made off with the Little Master.

            "What? Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Matthews shouted, sitting up in his chair and hitting Hammer over the head. "If we'd known that we wouldn't have just let it approach us like Little Master told us to!"

            "I was in the little boy's room when it was detected back then, Captain! It was gone by the time I came back! I didn't realize until now, when I looked up the mission records we left with the Foundation."

            "Moron!" He kicked Hammer in the back of the head. "So that thing must belong to that Albedo guy, huh?" 

            "That would be my best guess, sir," Hammer stuttered, rubbing his sore head. "If so…"

            "We're dead," Tony said, throwing up his hands in submission. "Utterly and completely dead."

            Just as he had spoken the last syllable, the zoomed face of the man none of them were looking forward to seeing blinked onto the screen. Gaignun Kukai stood glaring at them through the reaches of space, his arms crossed and his lips curled in a sneer. "I've been trying to get in contact for hours!" he yelled. "What have you been doing?"

            "Master Gaignun!" Captain Matthews said, bolting out of his seat. "I don't know what you're talking about! We never got any sign of communication from the Durandal or the Kukai Foundation!" He had never seen Master Gaignun look so angry. If he hadn't known before that he was in for it, he would have been assured of it from the look on his boss' face.

            "Um, sir…" Hammer tried to interject, tapping the captain's shoulder.

            "Just a minute," the captain hissed, pushing him away. "What were you trying to contact us about?"

            Mary stepped in front of Master Gaignun on the screen, her eyes red and her face bleak. "Little Master is gone! We don't know where he is!"

            "Your ship is the only one that left between the time the Little Master was last seen and the lockdown," Gaignun added with more than a hint of accusation in his voice.

            "Lockdown?" Matthews asked, trying desperately to change the subject. "What lockdown?"

            "When we found out about six hours ago that the Little Master had gone missing, we instituted a lockdown. No ship is permitted to enter or leave the Kukai Foundation at this time." Shelley said in a monotone, walking calmly into view of the screen. "Is the Little Master onboard your vessel?"

            "He was," Tony said. Matthews growled at him to keep quiet.

            "Was?" Gaignun prompted. "Where is he now?"

            "We ran into something out there. Little Master boarded it – of his own free will, I might add…I think." said Matthews, twiddling his fingers and looking distinctly away from the monitor.

            Gaignun ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "And what, exactly, was this 'thing'?"

            "Sir, our communications channels were blocked off somehow until just a few minutes ago! That's why we couldn't get your transmissions!" Hammer cried, unable to contain himself any longer. "I don't know how it happened, but anyway, the giant armored suit that he left in probably belonged to Albedo!"

            "Little Master must have hacked into their communications and turned off the emergency messaging system," Shelley commented. "Clearly he didn't want to be contacted, and knew exactly what he was getting into."

            "Albedo! No! What was the Little Master thinking! We have to rescue him!" Mary said.

            "Do you know where he's being taken?" Gaignun asked.

            "No, sir," said Matthews. "The thing went into hyperspace shortly after it took the Little Master onboard. But," he added, "Albedo did leave a file on our system for you."

            Gaignun blinked. "That's unexpected. Come back immediately. We'll discuss this upon your return." The screen blinked out.

            "Hey, Captain!"

            "What is it?"

            "You forgot to ask him about our payment!"

            "Tony, shut up," Hammer grumbled.

*************************

            Jr.'s eyes fluttered, and he groaned. His head felt like the victim of a giant drill going through his right temple. Slowly he managed to open his eyes completely and carefully moved his head from side to side. He didn't appear to have been moved from the place where he collapsed; he was surrounded by the unlit metal shell of Simeon. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and saw that the hatch directly in front of him was open, the ramp leading to more darkness – but at least it was somewhere to go. Standing up, already feeling his headache fading, Jr. staggered out of the giant robot-ship hybrid.

            His footsteps echoed loudly in the large, empty room as he explored. He could not see the ceiling or the walls, so he set off in one direction, hoping to reach the wall and follow it around until he found a door in the darkness. Jr. could not bring himself to wonder where he was because it did not matter and he could not convince himself that it did. He could not think of anything to think of during his dreary walk, so he focused on trudging on and trying to keep walking in a straight line. It was difficult, especially since he could not stop looking around him for any sign of life. Simeon had already receded into the darkness.

            Jr. was beginning to question his judgment in leaving Simeon when he finally hit something solid. He felt around until, surprisingly, his hand hit a small screen in the wall. The screen glowed green and the bottom edge of the wall responded, lifting up from the ground and into the ceiling, wherever that might be, and creating a four foot wide gap into which Jr. entered.

            As he walked down the endless string of corridors, Jr. began to wonder just how big this ship or colony or whatever he was in was. No matter its size, it seemed to be completely deserted. He had noticed several bloodstains on the walls, but no bodies, which was typical of Albedo's work; he preferred to keep the bodies clustered around himself for some sick reason or other.

            As the bees of lore hoarded their sweet honey.

            The intrusion sent a shiver up Jr.'s spine, but he did not slow his steps. He knew he was getting closer to Albedo; that reaching him was the entire point of this exercise. Jr. understood, now that he thought about it, why he had been left inside Simeon. It was all symbolism; all meant to show the empty, bloodstained existence Jr. had led up until that point – and, perhaps, to show Albedo's own? He was bothered by being able to comprehend so many of the thoughts of a madman, but not frightened by it. Indeed, the understanding gave him less to fear. His steps were surer as he turned the next – and final – corner.

            In front of him there stood a door, black and metallic, with designs that usually represented a council room. Upon the door were doodles drawn in blood – stick figures. It nearly made Jr. laugh; the simplicity! Not dark sigils of power or warning, but a man holding hands with a little boy, both smiling, and a little girl swinging in a park, with squiggly grass below her feet and her legs stretched out to make the swing go higher. Being absurdly careful not to smudge the image, Jr. pushed open the double doors.

            The corpses were new, for the room did not yet reek from their decomposition. The large table that meetings were undoubtedly held around was leaning sideways against the wall. The legs of most of the chairs had been sharpened and stabbed through the chests of corpses, making a circle around the one remaining chair, in which Albedo sat with a bleeding girl, nearly dead. 

            He looked up from the girl and smiled at Jr. "I will know, now, whether this blood tastes of sin." Albedo reached into her opened chest and pulled out the sinewy, still-beating heart from her chest. Aiming one of the ventricles into his mouth, he squeezed, the blood pulsing onto his tongue. He tipped his head back, revealing his throat, and swallowed. Jr. could see the trail the blood spilling from Albedo's lips made down his neck. "Even the young," he said, throwing the body aside, "taste of the aching guilt they feel over minor infractions. Their blood is all the sweeter for their regret."

            Albedo reached out one blood-covered hand to Jr., gesturing for him to come forward. Jr. did so, determined not to be intimidated. As he took his last step, the blood on Albedo's hand evaporated, and when it grabbed his own it was dry and clean. Albedo dragged him even closer, until their legs were touching. "How would you taste? Like the guilty, innocent girl or proud, unrepentant and damned?" He ran his sharp claws lightly down Jr.'s palm. Jr. nearly pulled away before Albedo spoke again. "Shh. I already know the answer. No reason to fear."

            Jr. wanted to say something that would bring the conversation back down to a level on which he was comfortable – on which he could shout at Albedo, condemning him for his perversions – and he was about to open his mouth to do so when he was given a hard slap to the face with Albedo's other hand. The hand holding Jr.'s own secured around his arm to prevent him from falling from the force.

            Albedo nimbly lifted Jr. into his lap and held him tightly against his chest to prevent his escape. "Let me go!" Jr. growled, struggling savagely, the taste of blood in his mouth a reminder of who he was dealing with. He couldn't move his arms, so he kicked as hard as he could and slammed his head backward, occasionally scoring a hit on the other man's jaw.

            "I was disappointed that you brought others to me the last time we met," Albedo said, acting as though he were oblivious to Jr.'s violent attempts at escaping his arms. "I was hoping it would just be you and me." He laughed as Jr. started trying to twist his body so he could find a piece of Albedo's flesh to bite. "You're as lively as I remember."

            "What do you want from me?" he yelled, baring his teeth at his captor.

            "To talk," he smiled.

            The answer took Jr. by surprise and he stopped struggling. "What about?" he asked in suspicion. "Your surrender?"

            "Hardly!" Albedo laughed. "I simply think it's time we caught up." One of Albedo's arms released Jr., but the other still held him tightly. He raised his hand to Jr.'s face and it began to glow with a white light. Jr.'s eyes widened in realization and he began his struggle anew, but it was useless. He could not stop what was happening as his mind opened up to the probe as it was designed to and revealed his memories.

To Be Continued…         


End file.
